seriously?

We're coming down to the wire for Christmas ... no surprise, since it's always been the same date, for, oh, pretty much ever.

I offered to help one of my grandmothers do the shopping for the grandkids (ages 10 (December birthday), 8 1/2 and 7 (December birthday too) in one house and ages 7 and 5 at my house). I managed to get the other crew what I thought was a pretty cool gift, and I know they'll like it, for $52. Not bad. So, I figured that I'd go and find something in the $40 range for my kids, thinking that I was spending per child.

Nope.

I was told yesterday, that the goal was $30 per child, and that I had to spend the same amount per household. I have to go back out and spend an additional $40 for one house and then still some more for my own.

Why does this make me want to cry?

I feel like I am now shopping for spending moneys sake, not for the reason behind the gift. I was thinking that Gram would be pleased, because I came in under budget. Well, nope.

I look at the amount of things that the children in both of these houses already have, and the space limitations we're all working with, and with the thought in mind that they will be getting more "stuff" in the next week. I don't want to shop for shoppings sake, I want to get gifts for these children that I know that they will like, that they will appreciate, that they will take care of. Not just something to open on Christmas morning.

Perhaps I'm looking at it from the wrong angle, I don't know. I know that I've slowly been removing myself from the retail cycle, trying to give experiences and consumables, and things that last. It goes back to the "I just want to live simply" mantra that runs through my head.

So now, as I prepare to head out and shop some more, I don't do it with any joy, but with anxiety.

Am I a scrooge, and do I just not know it?

Who'd a thunk it?

The kids and I stopped at Michael's today, looking for something to paint - their request. We found what we were looking for, and wandered our way over to the clearance aisle, just in case.

The end cap next to the clearance aisle, and that whole aisle next to it - Halloween Decorations! And I'm not talking craft supplies to gear up for it, but the actual chotchkis and battery powered decorations and spooky ghosts and all.

Poor Q - he wanted to go in there and look, but I told him no. I told him, as I have every other year, that I am not going to start celebrating Halloween in July. Seriously - the 4th of July was LAST WEEK PEOPLE. By the time the real thing gets here, we'll be sick of it. Nope, we celebrate on a time line here. It goes something like this:

August & September - full of birthdays, carnivals and back to school
October - my birthday falls early in the month and then, after my birthday, we can get out Halloween decorations. By the time November gets here, they've been out for almost three weeks.
November - Thanksgiving comes out after Halloween goes away.
December - Christmas comes out the day after Thanksgiving, and no sooner. It stays up until the 1st or 2nd weekend in January, depending on when the holidays fall.

I am a one holiday at a time type of gal. That's not to say if I see something on sale that I know someone would like for a Christmas gift, I won't buy it in July, and I've been known to get the "stuff" to make a project several weeks in advance, but my decorations. No way. Those stay in the basement until my appointed timer says they can come up.

I'd rather enjoy something for a shorter amount of time as opposed to celebrate it for months on end. To me, it's a bit more special and enjoyable to do it that way. If it drags on forever, I don't think you like it as much by the time the actual holiday day gets here.

So am I crazy and uptight, or what? I'm waiting for someone to tell me I'm wrecking it for my kids, or that I'm raising a couple of cynics. And if I am, at least we'll celebrate it in a timely fashion and won't drag it out.