100 Things About Me

Let's see if I can come up with 100 Things About Me:

1. My middle name used to be Lynn, before I changed my name after getting married.
2. My nephew and I now have the same middle name - my maiden name/my sisters last name.
3. I was born in 1974.
4. Had I been born in 1954, I would have been a disco diva, and quite probably been a coke head.
5. I wear a lot of stripes.
6. I am a Libra.
7. My mom died when I was 25.
8. I grew up on the same street, from the time I was two, until I moved out at 22.
9. I don't have the skill of playing an instrument.
10. I have had three pets in my life time - a cat and two gold fish (they lived three years each, the cat was much older)
11. When I was 22, my sister was 11, my parents were 44 and my grandparents were 66.
12. I would consider myself earthy.
13. I have the Wonder Woman logo tattooed on my lower back
14. My hair is naturally curly.
15. My hair did not get this curly until AFTER puberty kicked in.
16. After having kids, my feet got a slight bit bigger and my boobs got smaller.
17. I consider #16 to be extremely unfair.
18. I am saving my money to buy new boobs.
19. I have over forty cousins.
20. I have one husband and two children.
21. Most days, I want more children. One husband is enough.
22. My daughter was born on my bio-parents wedding date.
23. My bio-parents were married for eleven years before they got divorced.
24. Divorce scares me. I don't want to fall into that category, being a child of divorce and all.
25. I am a compulsive hair twirler/puller. It has a name: trichotillomania.
26. I went to the same High School that my dad and all his siblings did.
27. They still spelled my last name wrong on my High School diploma.
28. I have been a bridesmaid three times.
29. I went to college in Chicago
30. I lived and worked at home while attending college.
31. It took me six years to make up my mind and graduate college.
32. I am not working in the field that my degree is in.
33. I want to go back to school in the future.
34. I have never been in a bar fight.
35. I have never had sex in a movie theater.
36. I have never been arrested.
37. There are things I have done when I could have been arrested.
38. I am 5'7" , which is eight inches taller than my Mom.
39. I weigh the same now as I did before I got pregnant.
40. Of all my grandparents (eight), I still have three living.
41. I am being inconsistent with my punctuation use.
42. I still have my lower retainer bonded to my teeth.
43. I think Victoria's Secret charges way too much for underwear.
44. I have broken one bone - my jaw.
45. I have had surgery once - the birth of my son.
46. I have sat by somebodys side as they died.
47. I believe that you should not enter this world or leave this world alone.
48. I am afraid of dying before my kids are old enough to not need me as much - I have too much to tell them.
49. I have been to Europe.
50. I want to go to Egypt and ride a camel by the pyramids.
51. I drove to Minneapolis on a whim one night to go to the Mall of America.
52. I bought nothing at the Mall of America.
53. I like to drive fast.
54. The first car I owned was a 1988 Pontiac Grand Prix, with a broken gas gauge.
55. The first NEW car I owned is a dark blue 2002 Nissan Maxima.
56. I love my Nissan Maxima.
57. I don't have a favorite tv show.
58. The longest book I ever read was Roots, by Alex Haley.
59. I have been a vegetarian.
60. I have never been on a jury.
61. I occasionally smoke, if I'm with the right friends and have had enough to drink.
62. I have kissed a girl.
63. I wear glasses.
64. I am afraid to have laser corrective surgery done.
65. I had the DJ play KISS at our reception.
66. I only have one picture from our wedding on display.
67. When I vote, I split my ticket, between Republicans and Democrats.
68. I can sew.
69. I recently learned to make jam.
70. I can waste way too much time on the internet.
71. I don't like blow up yard decorations.
72. I eat spam once a year, in the same manner, every time - fried, with cheese on a toasted english muffin, and I drink Diet Pepsi.
73. I drink too much coffee and not enough water.
74. I am part of a fruit/vegetable co-op in the spring & summer months.
75. I don't know where our next vacation will be.
76. I have been in the car with a drunk driver, and it scared the crap out of me.
77. I have forgotten how to speak spanish.
78. I LOVE to write with Sharpie markers!
79. I make a mean loaf of banana bread.
80. I am always cold, and wear slippers from October to April when I'm at home.
81. In an effort to save money, I keep our thermostat at 68 during the day and 66 at night.
82. I have done stupid things at Jimmy Buffet concerts, in the name of free beer and/or tequila.
83. I have done stupid things at Jimmy Buffet concerts because I drank too much free beer and/or tequila.
84. I tend to forget when I have laundry in the washing machine.
85. I changed my major four times in college - nursing, communications, undecided, history and then finally, secondary ed history (I want to teach at the high school level).
86. I want to volunteer to teach English as a Second Language.
87. I'd like to be able to teach the GED classes at the local community college too.
88. I have seen KISS in concert at least six times.
89. I met my husband at a "hair band" concert because he was wearing a KISS t-shirt.
90. I have never maxed out a credit card.
91. I want to be the stop sign girl on a road construction crew, at least for a day.
92. I have been to Canada.
93. I am afraid of the state of the world - current events are scaring the shit out of me.
94. I love to get a pedicure and my eyebrows waxed.
95. I will not wax my nether regions.
96. I won't go to the bathroom in public, or at a strangers house, if it involves more than pee.
97. If I had $100,000, I would buy a $1000 Starbucks card so that long after we spent the money, I could treat myself to fancy coffee on occasion.
98. I am the Queen of the Cause - I won't throw it out, but will give it to charity or find a way to reuse it (ask me about the pink flanel pants) or recycle it. This creates problems at times.
99. I would like to participate in a craft fair one day.
100. I thought that 100 things about me would be easier than it was.

Whatcha got?

I wonder if people really realize how much shit that they have. And I'll call it shit, because I truly think that is what a lot of people are holding on to, for a variety of reasons. I know I've got a basement full of crap, which includes not only my stuff, but my husbands and my two kids. Really, if I were to have a garage sale, the potential for what I could make if I truly put a bit of effort into it, instead of just dropping off at Goodwill, is potentially higher than the annual income for some families in other countries. What do we REALLY need - four walls, a roof, some clothes (not nearly as much as we have), some decent blankets, and clean water and food. If we were to go the no electricity route, then we'd need some candles. Do I really need a box of old cassette tapes from the 1980's? No. But, I have them. Why? No clue. I remember that my mom held onto a bunch of 8 Tracks long after the 8 Track Player went the route of the garbage. However, if I were to find that box of tapes, I would grab the Cheap Trick Live at Boudakan tape, so then I could proudly claim that I have it on 8 Track, cassette, LP and cd. See what I mean - shit.

A new way to think about it

Yesterday was a sort of busy day at work, if you factor in visiting with a former co-worker who was back with her kids to visit. I had all sorts of plans, was going to run to Sam's Club at lunch so I didn't have to go after work, I was going to be EFFICIENT!

Yeah, right.

Didn't happen.

I ended up eating lunch at 2:00, at my desk, working around HR paperwork and the like.

I went to the bathroom before I left at 4:30, and did the usual once over. Hmm ... that looks like pepper in between my front teeth. Damn.

But, to look on the other side of the coin, the bright side of things, whatever you choose to call it:

Don't complain that your day didn't go as planned. Be glad you had lunch at 2:00 instead of 12:00, because it means that you only had pepper in your front teeth for two and a half hours instead of four and a half.

It's all about the peppercorn.

Remember the peppercorn.

It's my birthday!

Well, tomorrow is my birthday.

Birthdays are interesting things, on many levels.

I share mine with John Lennon (10/09/1940). I think that's pretty cool in itself. I am always guaranteed to hear "Imagine" on my birthday - how fantastic is that?!

Also, I don't feel that I am what my age says I should be. I don't feel that *THIS* is what 32 should be. A couple of years ago I stopped telling people I was 25. I wasn't even trying to be tricky, I just felt 25. I'm 32 years old, and while I'm not totally hot, I'm not dog meat by any stretch of the means. I'm in good health, am trying to eat right, am having fun on a daily basis, and I don't feel that I am as responsible as I should be, if that makes any sense. I'm totally over committed in many areas, but that's okay. I do need a new hair do though, it's giving me fits.

Birthdays are now, for me, much more meaningful now that I am a parent. I know that on their birthdays, I replay the entire day, all day long, like I am re-living my labor and delivery. I know that my Mom didn't really get that with me, and I don't know if I like that, not that I can do anything to change it. I know that my birth was for her, something traumatic, and I don't ever recall a time when she told me about it that she didn't cry. That makes me sad, because you shouldn't be sad recalling the birth of your child, especially if it was the baby you wanted and waited for. She cried because she remembers how scary it was for her, and the fear that she had that I may not have survived being born ...

Unfortunately, I am very familiar with that ... when I had Q, I went through something similar. I ended up with general anestesia (my mom had it too), and I was not awake to meet him. That makes me very sad, and it also bothers me that my husband did not get to meet him immediately either. Our son was greeted by strangers, that didn't have a vested interest in him. To them, he was another baby. To us, he was our son, and we were so eager to meet him, both so excited that it was going to be SOON, and then BAM! you end up in surgery.

When my Mom was waking up from her surgery/my birth, she remembers my Dad saying to the Doctor, "You have to tell her, I don't know how to tell her, I don't know if I can." and she said that all she thought was that I had not survived, that the doctors were right, that she couldn't get pregnant, that she shouldn't get pregnant, that it was a danger to both her and I. As it turns out, my Dad was panicing at the thought of telling her that I was in ICU, and had been transferred to another hospital for care.

Fast forward to my daughter, two years after my son. My fast and furious three hour and fifty-nine minute labor, my squirmy wet daughter, I grabbed her on the way out and brought her to me immediately. That is what I wish for all women, if that is what they want, on the birthdays of their children - to hold them and love them minutes after arrival.

Aah ... it's a bouncy sort of night ... a little bit here, a little bit there ...

Thanks, Mom, for being brave enough to do what you and Dad wanted, and follow your heart instead of what the doctors said. Thank you for my birthday.

Thank you to Q and The Bee for reminding me on a daily basis of how great things can be, even if it is exhausting sometimes.

Reflective

As you can tell, I was in an off mood yesterday and am still in one today. I probably should stay away from here, and people in general, when I'm in moods like this. It has been a long week, and it has been stressful, and it has brought back a lot of the "stuff" I had packaged up and deal with on MY terms, when I'm ready.

Anyway, I went to hte walk this morning, and when you take two small kids to a five mile fundraising walk, there is not a lot of time to deal with emotions. I suppose theres time for those later tonight.

As part of pre-walk e-mails was the one asking what Our Reason To Walk was. I wrote something, but in the midst of last week, I didn't get to send it in. I'll post it here instead:


My Reason to Walk …

I choose to walk for several reasons. I walk because I am a daughter, a wife and a mother.

I am the daughter whose mother, diagnosed as Type I when she was thirteen years old, died from complications of diabetes when she was just 47 years old. I was only 25 and had been married for just seven months. The life I had lived was the only life I knew – that of the child of a hard to maintain diabetic. No matter how hard we tried, it always seemed to be out of hand. For me, however, it was normal. I helped drive the car home when I was five because her blood sugar dropped too low. I learned how to check sugar levels and build blood sugar back up when it dropped. I knew the signs and what to look for, and how to get help. Some people say that was a lot for a kid, I say it was normal, it was all I knew. As a teenager, the once a year hospitalizations were routine, almost ordinary. As an adult and new wife, the trips to and from doctors and hospitals to help treat complications were a time for us to bond even more, to talk about this and that, to make sure that things weren’t left unsaid.

I walk as a daughter because I don’t want any one else’s child to have to do what I did, although I would do it again in a heartbeat. I don’t want anyone to ache like I did, and still do.

I am the wife, to a terrific husband, much loved and often under appreciated. I walk because I don’t want him to have to wait in hospitals, and I don’t want him to hurt the way I watched my Dad hurt for my Mom. I want my husband to have a wife to retire with and be able to live out all of our dreams and “one days”.

I walk as a wife because I don’t want anyone else’s spouse to grieve like my Dad does.

I am the mother to two terrific children, more unbelievable than I could ever imagine. I walk for them. I don’t want them to have to watch me struggle, and I don’t want that stress, the stress that the child of a diabetic faces, for them, now or ever. I walk because my Mom wished that I would never get this disease, but heaven forbid if the myth held true that it would skip a generation and get her grandkids. If it comes to be that our family gets this disease, I want the research done and the wheels in motion, so less damage is done and me, my husband or my kids have a better chance of staying healthy and living a long, complete life.

I walk as a mother because I didn’t know I could love like this.

I walk to honor my past and protect my future.

I walk because for me to do nothing would be wrong.

I walk because she loved me.